PUBLISHING FREAKOUT

Because you can never be too insecure, I'm now worried about what to send in and how. I've had a website for about two years, but now that two agents are interested in material, I'm suddenly seeing every blemish for the first time. I'm convinced that if I don't have it all ready and perfect now, now, now, that I'll never get another chance.

It's odd how prepared I am to write, and how totally unprepared I am for the business of submitting and publishing. There is this idea floating around that publishers only want polished shelf-ready manuscripts. But the agents I spoke to said they would be willing to work with authors to polish the work before submission. Still, I hesitate to submit any but the most finished work lest I put a bad foot forward. But I laugh at myself becasue I always dreamed of this moment, the moment where I had agents I was interested in and who are interested in me. And now that it's here, I'm second guessing every decision, losing sleep, and generally freaking out. Hire an editor? Let the agent see the rough manuscript? Buy runstones and cast them before the full moon, or wait for Mercury to leave retrograde?

Either way, I'm moving forward and it's exciting to know that at least what I'm pitching verbally is interesting enough for an agent to request. Now for synopses of books, polishing of short stories, and the redux of a website that took me months to build. Maybe simpler is the way to go. All the sold authors have are the books they've finished. One page with a few pages describing each book. But as an unsold novelist, I'm trying to gain readers. Still, maybe it's overkill. Oh to have one book and just sell it. Variety is not really helping at this point. Wah! Panic! Maelstrom of doubt!