Saturday, November 22, 2008

6th Grade Glamour Puss

Ok, ok. Here it is.
Now it's all become clear to me.
It was jealousy.
Jealousy of my blond hair, peaches 'n cream skin, and eyelashes that curled the breezes on which butterlfies flew.
If only I hadn't gotten my teeth knocked out for it... What price beauty!
The experience sure made me question organized religion, private schools, and cliques. I ran. RAN to high school. After a class of 15, it was a cake walk with its 2,000 member student body, range of diversity, and wide hallways where you could hide a Titan missile, much less an escaping homo.

So there you have it, soul bared. And to top it off, they spelled my name wrong. They got "Yoneice Mitchell" right, but couldn't spell "Graeme"? Bastards!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Did I say I was done? I've just begun

Didn't someone write me recently and say that their kid said that when you think you're finished, you've just begun. So Pardy Boys 1 is basically done, but now I have PB2 and PB3 to go. See, they've even lost all their majestic length of title and become abbreviations. It's all business. I recently discovered that people have been writing on my "wall" and the "Facebook." I use quotes because me navigating Facebook is like a Southern Baptist talking about "the Gays." I have no idea what I'm doing, and yet enter the waters like they may welcome me. So to all my writers who have "walled" me, I did just find the "wall" and have written back. Email is best. That I'm really good at.

So other than writing, I've been horrified to be contacted by someone from Middle School. Oh, so horrible. But I will have you know that of all the pasty white rich kids I went to private Christian (not really very Christian at all) school with, I was absolutely the prettiest one. I swear someone I have apple cheeks and Betty Crocker hair (if she were a blond). If you beg me, I'll 'grab' the photo and email it to special requestors. Even I cannot believe my innocent beauty, even as it was being crushed by God's Soul Suckers. Now there, there is a title for a book. I'm not sure who else was destroyed in Middle School, only to be reconstituted in High School, but that was me.

Now get back to your books!